Mind Monkeys: Part 1

Life on a boat. I try not to remind myself that even working on this fantastic Norwegian contract that for every three years one is spent at sea. I quite like working at sea, I get to work with some really good people, and that is probable why I continue to work at sea, as well as the good pay and off-time. It a continuous battle however to keep focus on what you want, and keep the balance right, between off-time (climbing and skiing) and money (so you can climb and ski) and on-time (when everything stops for two weeks). When on-time starts to effect off-time then you have to correct the situation or you end up on a slippery slope, of working all time, and in this offshore life this is very easy. It is true we have a staggering turnover of staff, less so in Norway, but a quick calculation for the last 2 years has shown I have worked with over 60 different people. People mainly from Norway the UK, but also Pakistan, Egypt, Iceland, the Faeroes, Russian, Mexicans, Brazilians, Polish, Italians, Belgians and the Swedes. This all adds to the wonder of working at sea, but is also extremely tiring having to teach new people every two weeks how the somewhat chaotic systems work or don’t, and what to watch for. I once read it takes 10 years for a geologist to become useful in an oil company, and at the time with 2 years under my belt I thought rubbish I am almost there! Now I have 12 years and I think I understand less know than I did then, and see my erroneous ways. Then I knew enough to be dangerous, but didn’t know it. Then you pass the mile stone; you are dangerous, and you know it but don’t know how to make it better. The next stage is; your know enough to be dangerous, you know it, and you can act to change this, but decide to go skiing or climbing instead.
I find the boredom the hardest thing to cope with offshore, it eats me alive at times, and with all this spare time you would think I could improve myself , like learn better Norwegian, or create a webpage or plan an expedition but somehow the monkeys of boredom grind you down, swinging from the branches of my mind. Swinging, swinging, tumbling and laughing, the monkey of apathy really knows how to swing. Many moons ago I was working with a guy who had spent time in a Scottish prison, and he told me prison was better than the boat we were on! I found it hard to believe, and then he said the cabin in prison was bigger and you got to walk outside once a day. The Sea Profiler had been a good boat, at one dizzy time the flag ship of British Antarctic surveys, back in 1954, but now it limped along, over heating engine that occasionally just stopped. I wedged myself into the bunk, as we slipped down the waves, it had risen to force 11, I was scared. The sound of the tappets on the only engine, rhythm ever present, comforting my frightened mind, the bow would rise, I would slip down the bunk, then down the wave, the prop would wiz as it came out of the water, crashing back into, cavitate for a while until it got something to push on. The tappets would momentarily drop out; I would grip the bunk, wondering could I get my survival suit on, and out onto the back deck before she capsized? Probable not… The storm passed, I passed out with exhaustion, making promises I never would keep…
What’s the alternative, well with all these redundancies going on I might just get what I want and then regret it. But how do I get the feeling I might get spared.
There has been talk, probable to much talk, about going climbing in Alaska, and the monkey of apathy has been knocked off the mind branch by the monkeys of ambitions, ego, fun, fear, desire and doubt, and suddenly I find myself checking PHD design sleeping bags against Feathered Friends, and should I go for -40° or go for a -20° and wear my down suit inside for the summit push? Do I really want to plod all the way up some glacier, knowing I could lose my toes or worst my mind! But the monkeys are swinging again, they always do, and I just can’t stop them anymore.
I should be happy with this offshore life, just accept it, buy a hytta get in more debt and be a slave to someone else dreams, but them the monkeys always think they know better, and they never shut up, they just keep eating bananas and swinging… They need more coffee, I know it makes them crazy, they love it, they want me to eat more sweets, they love that to, and it makes them, swing so quickly…