Extreme Knitting

For sometime now I have had this feeling that there is a darkness within Norway, a sub culture and today I was shocked and horrified a person very close to my heart is apart of this dark sub culture or even a full member of this cult. Its not even that well hidden, and even normal people, seemingly normal people are apart of it. It also runs through families, but can just leap generation and plant itself firmly in new believers. Knitting may seem to be harmless but this cult like occupation, have stores all over Norway, and often in busy streets. Today quite unsuspecting I was lead into said shop and exposed to the full horror of this evilness. The place was full of normal looking people browsing through shelves of wool, knitting needles and piles of papers, templates and magazines. I just kept my mouth shut, and tried to blend into the wool, which isn't to hard as I was wearing a wool jumper at the time. I felt like a fraud and any sudden movement would clearly expose me as an intruder. I browsed quietly feeling the wool in my hands, but muttering under my breath anything to ward of the evil wool spirits. I escaped, by bring up the idea of lunch, and I was free. While eating lunch I suddenly realised many of my friends are part of this cult, and openly knit in public places. You would think it would be outlawed. May be I should tell somebody, or may be it to late, they are amongst us and in control at a very high level of government...